I am soon coming up on my six month mark of being in Japan. I’ve done a lot of things since I’ve been here: traveled across half the country, been in a major earthquake, been in a major typhoon, moved apartments, had a bike/car accident, ended my engagement, met someone else, broke up with them, got harassed by them, went to Tokyo Disneyland, went to a hot spring, rode the bullet train, stayed in a capsule hotel, ate raw chicken (as sashimi), got my first gray hair… it’s been a whirlwind experience. Sometimes I get lost on trains and can’t get back on track–no pun intended–for at least another 2 hours. That can be extremely frustrating when you can’t read or speak the language. Sometimes I buy a pastry at the bakery thinking it would make a nice dessert and it turns out to be savory. Sometimes I buy a shirt that’s a size L and it turns out to fit like a size S. These instances usually make me smirk a little because that’s the experience of a gaijin living in Japan. These are the things that will make me strut though life not letting the petty stuff bother me.

I just got my ticket yesterday to go back home to California and I’m looking forward to going home. I don’t necessarily feel homesick, per se, but I do welcome the opportunity to see my family (and what a great family it is), and maybe eat some real Mexican food. I also welcome the break from all things unfamiliar. Like driving on the other side of the road, or sleeping on an actual mattress as opposed to a futon. Baking something in an oven will be amazing because, quite frankly, who doesn’t like to bake cookies around the holidays? Most homes (apartments) in Japan don’t even have an oven. It will also be nice to fall into a pile of warm clothes that have just come out of the dryer. I don’t think anyone in Japan has a dryer. (I’m sure someone does, but that’s not the point). The thing is, home is home. It will always be that. I feel lucky as hell that I have a home too… I know some don’t. So I like to keep myself feeling lucky and grateful. I know a lot of people who love the town they grew up in and they’d never want to leave. Those people might say I’m ungrateful for wanting to leave my hometown. But I say leaving my hometown makes me even more grateful.

I’ve lived in three different cities around the world since leaving my hometown and now that I’m in a foreign country, I feel more at home than ever. I’m certainly not Japanese and in no way do I fit in around here. I was never really a Japan-o-phile but I always had an interest in the exotic and the world outside America, and Japan falls into those categories. It’s been a struggle to adjust to life here and there are a lot of things I wouldn’t be able to do without relying on someone who can speak Japanese and English. Strangely, though, I feel more independent and at home–with myself– than ever before. I do not feel that I have reached the pinnacle of self-discovery or self-realization by any means, but I do feel like I’m heading in the right direction. My future plans include living in one or two more foreign countries, possibly for an extended period of time. Depends on the country.

There is so much you can learn about yourself, your hometown, your home country just by learning about other people and their towns and their countries. My passion for communication and bridging the gaps between people and cultures has only been cemented by my experience living and working in Japan. As a teacher, I get to have some of the most amazing 50-minute conversations with my students. These stimulating talks are the mere tip of the cultural exchange iceberg. It’s times like these that make me want to stay in Japan another year. But I also feel the pull toward other countries. Like I said, I’m no Japan-o-phile. I find value in all kinds of cultures. The more experiences I can have, the better. There is so much I want to do, you have no idea. The best part about it all, though, is that I feel like there’s no rush. I certainly don’t feel as though I’m wasting any time, either. I’m going at exactly the pace I should be going.

I can only hope that others get to experience or have experienced what I’m experiencing now. I’m not talking about living and working in another country, specifically, but more the metaphysical and transcendental experience of realizing one’s own and the world’s potential. For me, it’s an overall satisfying experience. I wish I could share it with you, but this blog just won’t do it justice. I’ll still give it a shot, though.

another random
cat in the haiku garden
sitting on a rock

I think that’s the first haiku I’ve ever successfully made. Inspiration abounds in Japan!

This is such an excellent example of what I like to call the study of people. Sure, you could say that’s sociology or anthropology, but I just think “the study of people” sounds much less academic and just more fun and appropriate when applied in small doses like this. Heheh.

I guess that I expected a completely foreign world when I got to Japan. And, granted, I was right to expect things I’d never seen before. I can honestly say that my world has been turned upside down, coming here. For instance, they drive on the other side of the road here, and all the cars are SMALL. (Total opposite of America). There are no preservatives in the food here and they eat most everything raw. Even eggs. Also, everyone here smokes cigarettes, and it’s illegal to smoke outside. They prefer you smoke inside or in designated smoking areas so as to make sure you don’t leave any cigarette butts littered in the street. I wonder if the Japanese have ever heard of second-hand smoke. But what surprises me more than the differences I’ve found here are the similarities. For example..

Mayonnaise – I can’t even begin to tell you how much the Japanese love mayonnaise. It’s like an addiction. They put it on everything. Salads, pork, french fries, noodles… the list goes on.

Convenience Stores – 7-11, Circle K, Family Mart, Lawson, Sunkus, etc… These handy little marts are like the Starbucks of America. There’s one on EVERY corner. They are certainly convenient. You even pay your utilities bills at the convenience store.

Shopping – While I admit I knew the Japanese liked to shop, I don’t think I understood just how much they like to shop. Some of the big department stores in Nagoya or Sakae are like the 5th Avenue designer stores you would expect in New York. Or Monte Carlo. They have uniformed concierges and everything.

I was wandering through my neighborhood today (which I was told was all housing) when I came across a Seiyu. This giant building slightly resembled a tiny shopping mall and I figured it was public since it had a McDonald’s on the first floor. So I curiously ventured in to find what must have been the biggest grocery store I’ve ever seen, besides the Navy Commissary. I actually uttered the word “woah” under my breath. Plus, there were two more floors. On the second floor, I found a small photo studio with costume kimonos for the whole family to wear, bedding, furniture, household items, cookware, and fake plants (the real plants were on the first floor). I bought some wooden spoons to use in my “kitchen.” Then (dare I?) I went to the third floor where I found clothes, more bedding and household items, bicycles for sale, electronics, appliances, and toys. And for a Sunday in Japan where the economy is on the rocks, the place was hoppin’. Families, couples, little old ladies inspecting dishware like it was a fine red wine. You’d think this place was the local pub in an Irish village, but on a grander scale. As I walked around not only perusing the aisles but the customers as well, I felt for a small moment as if it was 1984 and I was back in America. The words “materialistic” and “yuppie” came to mind. For another small moment, I wondered if I should immediately leave, go home, and take a shower to rid myself of the commercialism.. but naaaaah.. I needed clothes, bedding, and groceries. So I stayed and enjoyed every minute of it. :)

I’m not sure if I’ll ever completely understand this strange land and its people, but I’m not sure I want to. I like the mystical, ‘time warp’ feeling I get while I’m here. For now, anyway….

I’ve been here for little more than three weeks. I’m finally beginning to feel like I live here. I must admit, I didn’t really think about the fact that as soon as I got here, I’d basically be illiterate. Trying to get used to the kanji, hirigana, and katakana is a lot more difficult than I was expecting. I figured if I just memorized each katakana and hirigana symbol (and their sounds) then I’d be able to easily decode most Japanese words.

Yeah. No.

I spent an hour searching for just one symbol on the internet and in my books when I was trying to read the directions on a packet of “drano”-like powder I bought for my flooding bathroom. I gave up and just dumped the powder in the drain. It hasn’t worked.

While this can get very frustrating at times, I must commend the Japanese for being such fans of kawaii anime that they have cartoon directions on a large majority of their products. Also, everyone here is very polite and understanding of the fact that you probably will never master Japanese. So, they do their best to help you out whenever they see you have that pained/panicked look on your face while holding a plastic package of some kind. I’ve managed to get by in Japan just knowing the words for “please,” “thank you,” and “yes.” Nobody ever directly says “no” in Japan, so knowing the hand signals for “no” (crossing your arms like an ‘x’) and giving a simple smile works too. Maybe when I get enough money, I’ll buy one of those electronic devices that lets you draw the kanji and then it tells you what that symbol is. But in the meantime, I’m stuck with my books and the internet. Oh well.

satiety \suh-TY-uh-tee\

noun:
The state of being full or gratified to or beyond the point of satisfaction.

I think this is such a great word. Ever since someone once told me I was insatiable, my mind was, kid you not, blown away at all the derivatives and origins of the word satisfaction. Heh. Call me geeky, but that’s what gets us English majors mentally hot and bothered!

The days are winding down (20 more to go) to Japan and I have yet to pack my clothes. Heh.

However, I am doing my homework on the culture and (a little bit of) history of the Japanese people. I was directed to a blog written by another former Foreign Teacher from the same company that I will be working for (I am leaving out names for everyone’s protection), and I must say, I was very disappointed. What he wrote about his experience with this company was supposed to be the “truth” about what it’s like to work for them. Apparently he and the company had some disagreements. What disappointed me wasn’t so much the company but, rather, what he had to say. His blog was very informative, and I certainly got some useful tips out of it. But I was completely unimpressed with him. He complained about certain aspects of the Japanese world of business and, quite frankly, he should have known better. What he was so upset about was the way the Japanese handled situations. He didn’t like that he could not argue with his manager about something at a business meeting. He felt like he was being stifled and that he was not allowed to be “productive” via speaking his mind. He was also very taken aback by what he saw as passive aggressiveness in the Japanese.

Now, I don’t have to go to Japan to know that the Japanese highly prize group solidarity, especially within the business world. Just look at the way Japanese businessmen dress. See any bright colors? See anybody trying to stand out or beat the system? I don’t.

This blogger claims that he went to Japan to explore it and learn about another culture and yet he was kept from doing so because he had to work all the time. There’s no such thing as a free lunch, buddy! But more than that, he cheated himself out of the Japanese cultural education because it was happening to him the entire time he was there! Alas, he was too busy imposing his American standards of behavior on everyone he worked with to open up his mind and broaden his horizons.

I’m glad I read the blog, really, because it is a reminder to me that when I go to this brand new Eastern world, I should let myself be open to and understanding of the differences I know I will encounter. I may be going to to Japan to teach English conversation, but I’m not there to change the Japanese into Americans. I’ll do what I can to help them understand Americans and our nuances. But I won’t judge them for it if it doesn’t come naturally to them. This is a learning experience on both sides and I am happy to help create this bridge of communication.

Well, I have some very exciting news:

I am moving to Japan to teach English for a year!

I was recently accepted for a position in Okazaki (Central Japan, near Nagoya) and I leave this coming June.  I know that this will be an extremely enlightening and exciting adventure because, besides the fact that I have never been anywhere in Asia, this will be such an inspiration to my writing.  My whole experience there will be one based on language.  The challenges of learning a new language, teaching a language to a new people whose language I don’t understand, and immersing myself within their culture is going to be an invaluable opportunity for me!

I plan to use this experience to grow as a person, of course, but also to make my blog grow.  I think I’ll be able to write some pretty interesting things once I get to Japan.  At the moment, I’m going through some books I got about Japan, the Japanese language, and the Japanese people.  Because of their long history of isolation, they have been able to preserve some of their oldest traditions and remain very unique in culture.  Unlike Western Europe and the United States, both of which have common backgrounds and melded histories, Japan is a singular entity and I expect to receive some major culture shock.  :)

Hooray!

Okay, okay, okay!  I know.  I’ve failed you and left you without anything to read for 4 (count ‘em! 4) months.

I apologize.

In previous entry from yesterday, you’ll see a post I began writing two months ago and never finished.  The anxiety built up again and I put it off.  And then, I forgot about it.  So yesterday, when I oddly enough felt inspired to come over here and valiantly write a new entry, I was reminded of that poor little entry I wrote just 2 months ago.  I figured I should just publish what I had and then start with a new one.

So you know those memes we encounter online? Here’s a fun one that didn’t involve me spouting off information about myself in that oh so narcissistic way we all tend to do.  It’s called the Google Name Game.  Basically, google these and use the first entry.

1) Type in “[your name] needs” in Google search.
2) Type in “[your name] looks like” in Google search.
3) Type in “[your name] says” in Google search.
4) Type in “[your name] wants” in Google search.
5) Type in “[your name] does” in Google search.
6) Type in “[your name] hates” in Google search.
7) Type in “[your name] asks” in Google search.
8) Type in “[your name] likes ” in Google search.
9) Type in “[your name] eats ” in Google search.
10) Type in “[your name] wears ” in Google search.
11) Type in “[your name] was arrested for” in Google Search.
12) Type in “[your name] loves” in Google Search.

and here you go:

1. Emily needs a series of exemptions to Harvard’s administrative rules.
2. Emily looks like a very charming woman, with a natural beauty and a sparkling, unconstrained expression in her face.
3. Emily says that she and Richard are not getting back together.
4. Emily wants a pony, and she slings lemonade on the corner to get it.
5. Emily Does the Salmon Dance.
6. Emily Hates You 2.0
7. Emily asks Zander why he sold drugs.
8. Emily likes to wander the streets without much planning.
9. Emily Eats is proudly powered by WordPress.
10. Emily wears a cute outfit from Grandma while she plays in the house.
11. Emily was arrested for beating up a classmate!
12. Emily Loves Banana Custard!!

Funnily enough, about half of those are true.  I’ll let you guess which half.  The point of this meme, which I believe speaks volumes about society today, is that it’s a fun and interactive way of keeping up with each other without really keeping up with each other.  You know what I mean?  Allow me to explain:  Say one day you’re talking to a good friend and they mention someone from your past.  “Do you know Joe Schmoe?” they ask.  “Yeah I do.  Well, we’re friends on Facebook, anyway…” you start to trail off.  Joe, from your 7th grade science class, added you way back when and you have rarely, if ever, exchanged messages or comments.  But you’re friends on Facebook.

Every time this situation happens to me, I can’t help but stop and give myself a puzzled look, thinking, “How in the world did we come to this?”  I guess it’s not necessarily a bad thing, but back in the 1950s, for instance, did these acquaintances exist in such a way?  Maybe they did… “Yeah, I know Joe.  I’ve never talked to him, but we hang out at the same neighborhood bar.”

Maybe what I’m getting at here is the social phenomena of acquaintances and their interactions (or lack thereof).  What if you’re walking down the street or through the store and you see Facebook friend Joe Schmoe?  You’re not sure if he’s seen you yet, but if he does, what will you both do?  Will you smile and wave?  Will you walk up to each other and catch up on the past (or lack thereof)?  Or will you both pretend you didn’t see each other because you don’t want to get involved in what might otherwise be **cringe** an awkward situation?  But you are friends on Facebook.  And when you go home, you’ll look up Joe’s profile and find yourself clicking through every one of his photos and soon you’ll forget yourself and leave some kind of comment about one of his funnier photos.  And then the awkwardness sets in and you feel you should go ahead and leave a comment on his wall mentioning that you “thought” you saw him at the store today, but you “weren’t sure” if it was him. Hope he is well.

AAAAAGH!!!

I don’t know; maybe it’s just me.  (I did just find out recently that I have a high raw percentage of neuroticism, compared to most people).  Haha. Um.  Yeah, maybe that’s all it is.  But honestly, tell me you’ve never been in that situation before.

For a moment there I thought I was going somewhere with this post.  And then it all went to pot.  I could go back and edit the post and figure out what I meant to get at.. but I’d be here for hours… and I believe my readers are smart enough to figure it out for themselves.  Heh heh.. I do hope you got something out of it.

Oh well.  Hearts to you all for sticking around.  I’ll try to be better next time.

I’ve been avoiding you.

I’m sorry.

It’s been two months.  I find that I inevitably end up writing this blog entry at some point every time I try to keep a blog.  I’m so terrible.  It’s like having a pet.  At first, it’s exciting.  “Oh, think of all the wonderful things I can do with this!  This will be so much fun!”  But the pet only does so many things.  I can only do so many things with the pet.  And soon, I get bored.  I still want to keep the pet, though, because there was a time when I was genuinely enthusiastic about it and I would hate to hurt its feelings by giving it away or something.  Like I’m going to hurt my blog’s feelings.  Well, I do feel bad!  Is that not ridiculous?  I get online and I check my email, my flickr, my facebook, etc, and I see the little bookmark for wotBlog and I quickly drag my mouse away from it and look at another part of my screen.  I am literally avoiding my own blog out of embarrassment.  Wow.

It’s a blog.  Come on, Emily.

-written on December 14, 2008.  and never finished.