Real and Unreal

A spider just ran across my bed. Scared the living daylights out of me, considering it was about eight inches away from my face and it was (a) not a daddy-long-legs and (b) nothing I recognized. I managed to smush it with a flip-flop before it crawled into my messy bedspread. (Apologies to all who dare not kill another living creature, but I have no problem killing certain bugs. Especially spiders that may or may not be poisonous. I’m not going to take that risk.) Anyway, I keep feeling an invisible spider running across my foot or up my arm now.

I had a dream a few nights ago about a small black spider (nothing like the one I killed tonight) that bit my hand right between my knuckles. Not only did it bite me, but it got stuck in my skin. I didn’t dare pull it out lest I pull off a couple legs and leave the body to become embedded in my hand. A day or two later, it finally came out but it left a nice little red bulge in my hand that was sore. I flexed and squeezed my hand so as to force out whatever was in this bulge and out started popping these small white eggs that looked and felt like tapioca. I know, you’ll never be able to eat tapioca again–sorry. So when I finally woke up, I checked my hand to make sure I hadn’t actually been bitten and I was safe. But it did feel funny right at the spot where the spider had bitten me in my dream.

Now, I’ll admit that I fancy the art of dream interpretation. According to an online dream dictionary, the spider is a symbol of female authority and to dream of a spider biting you is representative of some large issue that you must make a tough decision about. It does not, however, say anything about a spider laying eggs. Do spiders even actually do that? I mean, in your skin? I’m not even sure I want to know the answer to that.

The point is, I had a disconcerting dream about a spider and a similarly disconcerting spider actually come right at me, not a week later. I do have pressing issues I need to make some tough decisions about. So, have I just been reading too much Murakami lately? Or is there a real …or unreal… issue going on here?

It is events such as these that make me question the difference between reality and what I only think is not real. I believe it was Zhuang Zi () who once had a dream he was a butterfly and when he awoke, he didn’t know if he was a man dreaming he was a butterfly or a butterfly dreaming he was a man. Truly, how do you really know the difference? I do believe the life I’m living here where the spider ran across my bed tonight is actually the real thing. But it’s fun to speculate. I guess it gives us all something to do when we’re tired of the harshness and (dare I say it?) reality of life. Then again, you could say that’s why I’m writing right now as well.

So we’re all blogging now, are we?

‘_’

That’s me.  That’s pretty much how I’m feeling about this first blog post.  And quite honestly, I’m usually not one to make various over-creative emoticons out of punctuation marks.  However, my good friend Heather is.  I told her I was going to begin a blog where I could flex my writing skills and give people something to reference me with (Thanks, Tantek).  So when I finally signed up for a blog, I realized.. um.. I had to make a first post.

And I have no idea what to write about.  Heather said to introduce myself and, somehow, without following any rhyme or reason (as per usual between us), we started making emoticons on gchat.  One of my personal favorites of hers is <(‘.'<) <( ‘  ‘ )> (>’.’)>

It’s cute.  Hehe.  But still, all I could come up with was  ‘_’  …which I think is rather appropriate anyhow.

So, here I am.  Fledgling writer that I am, I’m thinking that this blog will eventually form its own personality and, most likely, take off without me.  I believe that words control us more than we control them.  But, with a little coaxing, maybe we can strike a deal.  Words, if you’ll make me sound good, I’ll put in a good word for you too.  No pun intended.